grieving

i'm grieving. still.

it's been more than 3 months now, and I'm still grieving.

I didn't realize it until a few minutes ago.

Oh, wait, what am I grieving? The loss of my job.

Yeah, sure, I've found a new one, and I kinda like it. But it's not the work that I'm upset about, it was the company. Have I mentioned this before? I was working at the Disney Store. I was fired. I got fired for no real reason. Of course, there was an official reason.. that being that I wasn't doing my job. But it was impossible to do my job when I didn't have a direct supervisor. I was doing the store manager's job as well as mine.

so yeah. I miss that. I miss working for Disney. I miss the kids every day. I miss the happiness, the joy, the magic. It's all ... gone? It's not that I can't have joy and happiness, and even magic every day, but it's just not the same.

i got the job because i missed the parks. i miss the parks because i moved. i got to see them every single day and that was enough. i got to help people plan their vacations, i got to hear about them when they came home. i had a family. i had a family of cast members who i treasured and i even had a family of regular guests.

my heart just hurts. i don't want to move back to florida just for that. i like it too much up here, but i don't know how to "fix" this.