stumbling into a time warp and deepening relationship with God

my world got jacked up again.

I hate it when i'm rolling along with life, minding my own business, and I innocently click on someone new's MySpace or blog or something, someone that either had commented someplace or is a distant friend of someone that I know, and then I end up spiralling through this wierd time warp type thing.

I mean, like. it's just WIERD.

Sure. I've gone looking for these people before, on MySpace, or randomly googling them.. and sometimes they're people I've known from my past, or sometimes they're from musical groups gone by... but I can't ever find them on my own.

and that in itself is wierd.

I know for a fact, this person that I've found tonight, I searched for... many times, by his name... and i never found one single thing worth mentioning post 2001. And then, tonight, I most literally stumbled upon him. ANd what kills me is that while his name may not be part of his user ID or whatever, someone calls him by name in a blog comment, which you'd have thought would at least show up in a search.. but no.

it's a night like tonight.

I'm already moody. I should already be in bed. I don't need a million more things to think about.. and then BAM! Out of nowhere.

of course, it's worse than that even, b/c he seems happily involved with someone. It's not like I ever thought I had a chance with him, but we looked so gosh darn good together, and then he most literally vanished from my life. I can't be upset that he's happy. That's all I'd want for him. He was a great guy when I knew him, and I'm sure he still is now. i would only want the best for him..

*sigh*

is this part of my process? Is this where God takes me on this journey to the point where I think there is no one else there for me, and I have only left to cling to Him and then He shows me who He has for me?

the irony of the previous statement is not lost on me at all tonight.


guess I am going to church tomorrow afterall.