afraid of God's will

I think I'm afraid of God's will for my life.. I think i'm afraid of the plans He has in store for me.

is that crazy irrational? or something more?

I'm sure there are several folks who would tell me it's something more... a spiritual warfare type thing going on.

and when you get into a topic like that, I get to wondering. Some people have said that you're only going to get attacked if God has big things in store for you. But I think others believe that no matter what, whether big or small, you can get attacked. I'm afraid of the big things. I'm afraid of being responsible I'm afraid of affecting people's lives. That's why I don't want to be a teacher. I'm afraid of that enormous responsibility. I don't want to screw up someone else's life.

what the heck is wrong with me? I need to seriously keep this job (keep the store open) and keep my benefits and get into some sort of counselling.